Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Where's Steadman Shealy?
Daniel Moore is a blessing for frustrated bloggers trying to find images of an old-school SEC quarterback.
[Ed. - This post originally referenced Stan White until a commenter pointed out that my Google Image search for Stan White had produced a picture of Pat Sullivan. Since Pat is too prominent and does not allow me to show off, we audibled to a picture of Steadman Shealy. So there.]
Since one of the themes of the year in this end of the blogosphere is ESPN whoring themselves to the Big Ten and ignoring the SEC (a subject that I can comfortably address nine years after the State of Tennessee nearly got all Operation Barbarossa on Bristol, Connecticut), it bears mentioning that the job description for color analyst for a college football game is apparently "played quarterback in the Midwest." Leaving aside the fact that Gameday's roles go to an Ohio State quarterback, a Michigan wide receiver, and an Indiana head coach (OK, Corso spent some time at Florida State and Louisville, as well) and the Scoreboard show's roles go to a Pitt lineman and a Notre Dame head coach (if there's any doubt as to Holtz's loyalty, look at his garb on the cover of his hokey autobiography/self-help manual...or read about what he says about South Carolina inside), here's the list of color analysts for the major networks:
CBS (the network that covers the SEC exclusively):
Gary Danielson - Purdue
Steve Beuerlein - Notre Dame
Kirk Herbstreit - Ohio State
Bob Davie - Notre Dame (among others)
Bob Griese - Purdue
Tim Brant - Maryland
Andre Ware - Houston
Ed Cunningham - Washington
David Norrie - UCLA
Todd Blackledge - Penn State
Paul Maguire - Annoying A&T (OK, he actually went to The Citadel. Are you as surprised as I am?)
Chris Spielman - Ohio State
Mike Gottfried - Pitt
Rod Gilmore - Oregon
Trevor Matich - BYU
Craig James - SMU
(Note that all of the #1 analysts are former Big Ten players, assuming that we grandfather in Blackledge.)
Mr. Hollingsworth would have felt better if he had a zero-accountability job in front of the camera ahead in his future.
When SEC fans get chippy about the college football media being against them, this might be a reason why. OK, that and the fact that Gameday is apparently going to follow Ohio State around like the Dead, selling rancid patchouli and tie-dyed sweater vests festooned with psychadelic nuts along the way. ABC/ESPN electing to draft analysts from the conferences they cover is one thing, but why can't CBS find someone who, I don't know, actually played in the SEC to analyze SEC games? I actually like Gary Danielson a lot, but it would be nice if some network somewhere hired someone with a Southern accent. Maybe I'm just prickly about this after Keith Jackson's retirement and Ron Franklin's ludicrous demotion. Maybe the EEOC should look into whether Southern-ness should be a protected nationality. (Yes, I have actually researched this question and the answer is "no.")
I won't trust a person if he doesn't want to see the KerwinBellstache on location in Iowa City this weekend.