Friday, December 03, 2010

Michigan Needs a Burst of Cleansing Synchronicity

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who reads the account of Michigan's season-ending banquet and then thinks immediately of this scene from Heathers:

[in the caf]

PF [shouts] Attention!

[GE spits out his milk]

May I have your attention?

[VS walks in through the door, wearing black glasses]

This school has been torn apart by tragedies. I'm here to fuse it back
again, in togetherness. I want everybody to clap hands. [VS takes of her
glasses, and looks at PF as if she was insane]
We need to connect this cafeteria into one mighty circuit! Look! Here's
the TV crew! Clap your hands!

[PF start walking around in the caf, making everybody hold hands]

VS [to HD] Look's like Ms Phlegm's on another one of her crusades.
Usual success, of course.

TV Hi, what's your name?

HD [smiling] Hi, I'm Heather Duke.

[MD crawls down under the table]

[JD walks up to VS, and holds her from behind]

JD Is this as good for you as it is for me?

[JD takes a seat at MD's table, and MD returns to her chair]

Greetings and salutations!

PD [to PF] I need a copy of all this by monday for my Princeton

[VS leaves]

I thought we had hired Bo Schembechler, but instead, we've hired Pauline Fleming.

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