Oh, Orson

This is the sort of thing that only I care about:

IT'S A SPRAIN OH GIMME DA SPRAY. That three overpaid medics did not come out immediately and revive Aaron Murray's sprained ankle with magic spray is proof that Georgia is not a professional European football team. Anyone who watches their fair share knows that the magic spray is all you need to recover from a major soccer injury, often reviving an apparently dead man in a matter of seconds. When Italians have heart attacks, it's often applied directly to the chest and works in half the time. This is really all a roundabout way of saying that Aaron Murray's ankle is fine, and that if your national soccer team is not named Spain and has a coastline bordering the Mediterranean, you play an abominable, despicable form of the game and should be ejected from international competition forever based on style alone.*

*You too, Portugal.

Ahem...