Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Worst Arbitrary Ranking Ever

CollegeFootballNews.com likes to write in list form. Ever wonder what your top five potential Starbucks orders are when you leave the house on Saturday morning? Do you ponder who the top 25 right guards in the history of the Southwest Conference were? How about ten best pom-poms in college football? CFN has you covered. That said, they have struck a new level of total and absolute indefensibility (is that a word?)with their rankings of 2007 offenses. (HT: HeismanPundit.) In the same way that opposition to Gay Pride (or gay anything) brings together Hamas and Shas, this article causes me and HP to see eye-to-eye.

The placement of Wisconsin in the top ten is probably the most egregious error. The Wisconsin team that required a late touchdown to hit double-digits at home against San Diego State. The Wisconsin offense that managed 13 points and 248 yards against Michigan, 13 points and 341 yards against Penn State, and 17 points and 201 yards against Arkansas. With the Badgers' Bill Snyder-endorsed schedule, that's the complete list of quality defenses that Wisconsin faced. Oh, and they're replacing a three-year starter at quarterback and the #3 pick in the Draft at left tackle. Inexplicably, the Badgers rate nine spots higher on offense than they do on defense, despite the fact that anyone with two eyes and a functioning brain stem could see last year that Wisconsin was a defensive team. They return almost as many starters on defense as they do on offense and defense is clearly their head coach's strong suit.

The inclusion of Oklahoma as the #3 offense in the country is similarly ludicrous. When your justification starts with "if a quarterback comes through," you know you don't have the #3 offense in the country. When the guys vying for the job are two relatively unheralded recruits and a true freshman, you know you have a major if. When you're replacing a top ten pick at running back, you have a defensive head coach, and defense was your strong suit last year, you know that CFN was trolling for outraged e-mails from Texas fans. And speaking of the Lone Star State, A&M in the top ten? The same Aggies who scored 12 points and 10 points in their last two games last year? Honestly, if you had one game to win, would you really take the A&M offense (including coaches) over Oklahoma State or Texas Tech? A&M has the fifth-best offense in their own division, but CFN thinks that they have the eighth-best offense in the country. Go figure.

I especially liked Miami (19.6 points and 313 yards per game) being one step ahead of Arkansas (28.9 points and 378 yards per game). I'm sure that college football fans around the country would prefer trusting their life to Kyle Wright's throws as opposed to Darren McFadden's runs. Either Patrick Nix is the greatest genius in human history or this ranking is worthless.

Oh, and one other thing. CFN projects Hawaii to go unbeaten and play in the Sugar Bowl, but they have the Warriors' offense ranked a pedestrian 23rd in the country. If Hawaii isn't going to a BCS bowl on the back of their offense (and their schedule, it must be said), then what the hell is their strength?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

10 best pom-poms in the CFA? Without question the Song Girls of the University of Spoiled Children!