Unsatisfied with making repeated "they take the short bus to games" jokes, I've settled on viewing the Hawks as the Fat Girl. Most guys have known or been friends with at least one fat girl who was really nice and went the extra mile (in all sorts of ways) to make up for, uh, how should I put this, society's expectations for a woman's figure. The Fat Girl knows that she can't compete with the Hot Girl (who has taken her main male target home from the bar 13 straight times, even if she can't seem to get him to put a ring on her finger) or even the Reasonably Decent Girl (who has the hot new acquisition that everyone's talking about) for your attention, so she provides benefits that the others won't. Because this is a family web site, I won't make precise comparisons to all the bobbleheads and discounts that the Hawks dole out.
Anyway, the Hawks sent me an e-mail yesterday asking for feedback on the Chic-fil-A Family Fun Night package I bought in January and for completing the survey, I got free tickets. The wife and I are running in the Philips Arena 5K tomorrow, for which we get free tickets (and other schwag that the wife hasn't yet specified.) What other team gives out so much so easily? Do I need to keep explaining this analogy?
(By the way, this post is funnier if you hum Queen's "Fat-Bottomed Girls They Make the Rockin' World Go 'Round" whilst reading.)