Frank Lampard would fit in at Barca about as well as Al Thornton and Thaddeus Young would have fit in for the Hawks last night. Let's see, an overrated English midfielder with negligible passing or dribbling skills who shoots on sight and whose primary talent is running onto knockdowns from Didier Drogba moving to a team that prides itself on short passing and movement and plays three great attackers who simply need service from their midfielders. I can't see anything going wrong there. There would be only two positives from Lampard to Barca:
1. He'd be exposed as a fraud; and
2. One of Messi, Eto'o, Ronnie, or Henry would choke him after Lampard ignores their runs for the 37th time in order to shoot into the third tier at the Nou Camp.
UPDATE: No one wants Frank. Crisis averted.