Since When Did Coaches Become Baghdad Bob?

Is it me, or have we reached a point where coaches say whatever the hell comes to their minds after losses?  Maybe I’m just having a “get off my lawn!” moment, but growing up, I don’t remember having to listen to coaches make unsupportable complaints every time things didn’t go their way on the field.  Here are three examples from the past week:

1. Sir Alex Ferguson ranted about the officiating at Chelsea on Tuesday because the ref had the temerity not to send off David Luiz and then awarded a soft penalty to Chelsea for the winning goal.  Of course, Sir Alex was not exactly taking into account the fact that United’s goal was scored by Wayne Rooney, a player who shouldn’t have been anywhere near the pitch after elbowing James McCarthy in the head.

2. After a 0-0 draw at Deportivo La Coruna that left his side seven points behind Barcelona in La Liga, Jose Mourinho complained that the league shows favoritism to Barca by giving them more rest after Champions League games.  It turns out that there is no factual basis for the complaint.  Mourinho’s act has grown so tiresome that, according to Phil Ball, even Marca is starting to turn on him.

3. Michigan State was swept by Michigan in basketball for the first time in 14 years.  So how does Tom Izzo respond after his team lost on Saturday and his star point guard tossed a ball at his opposite number?  

“I’ll straighten that (Lucas throwing the ball at Morris) out but at the same time, (Morris) going for a layup with 2 seconds left and talking a lot stuff all game, including at our place, maybe he (Morris) deserved it.”

Yes, Tom, I’m sure that you would have reacted the same way if a hapless Michigan player would have thrown a ball at Mateen Cleaves after you left him in to get an assist record in a 114-63 rout.  And I wasn’t aware that you have a rule against players yapping at opponents.

Yes, I know I’ve picked three particular coaches and teams that I dislike and there are probably examples of coaches whom I do like who have made similar complaints, but does anyone else get the sense that there sorts of unjustifiable excuses are more common now?  One possibility is that coaches have always made these “we either win or we got screwed” defenses and we only know about them now because they are immediately the subject of blogosphere and message board chatter.  In the old days, Izzo’s remarks would have slipped into the ether.  Now, they can be dissected by interested fans of rivals within minutes after being made.  A second possibility is that in a media-saturated environment, coaches have thinner skin because they are criticized with a volume that did not exist before.  A third possibility is that increased attention creates greater possibility for a coach to create an us-versus-them dynamic.  This is a Mourinho specialty: say a series of ludicrous things to rile up just about everyone in the league, then feast off the resulting siege mentality.

To use a legal term, I think I’m an egg-shell plaintiff when it comes to patently stupid arguments.  Because I take the process of making good arguments very seriously (“not seriously enough,” you’re probably snickering right now), it offends me to see coaches at the tops of their professions throwing out whatever claim comes into their minds.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to start complaining about how ballpark hot dogs don’t taste the same as they did when I was a child.

I May Not be a Smart Man, Layla, but I Know What Nepotism is.

Not since Forrest Gump has there been a figure who has found himself in more important positions despite having little or no aptitude for anything (other than being related to a defensive genius).

I didn't mind USC during the Carroll era. It was refreshing to watch a Pac Ten team play proper defense. It was certainly enjoyable to watch the Trojans humiliate Notre Dame on an annual basis. Now, that match-up has become a meteor game. USC - the program with its basketball program on probation for paying a player, the Reggie Bush investigation hanging over it like the Sword of Damocles, and fresh allegations that another star running back was being paid by, oh, I forgot, U.S./China Marketing - just hired a head coach who made NCAA infractions a part of his recruiting strategy in Knoxville. Did Michigan replace Steve Fisher with Jerry Tarkanian? Did Alabama replace Mike Dubose with Jackie Sherrill? Come on, NCAA, if ever a program was thumbing its nose at you, this is it. I don't root for the NCAA to hammer major programs because college football is more interesting when the major power are doing well, but I'm willing to make an exception in this instance. USC just moved to "utterly contemptible." And that's before we get to Ed Orgeron's apparent Jerry Maguire impersonation, desperately calling Tennessee recruits to discourage them from enrolling at Tennessee.

In terms of Tennessee's reaction, this is not the end of the world. Yes, the Vols are being dumped by their girlfriend, but it's not as if this lady was a keeper. If you buy the notion that a coach who commits a bevy of smaller violations is more likely to commit a big one, then Tennessee is dodging a bullet. And that's before we get to the fact that Lane Kiffin is not very good at coaching football. He's good at assembling a staff and he's an aggressive recruiter, but he was never going to be on anyone's list for the top ten coaches in the country. Isn't that what ultimately drove Tennessee fans crazy about Phil Fulmer? Assuming that he isn't tainted goods because of ElectricalShedGate, wouldn't Mike Leach be a major upgrade? After all those years of Big Orange fans suffering as Spurrier-coached Florida teams passed John Chavis's defenses to death, wouldn't a little reversal of fortune be sweet? How about an SEC with Meyer, Saban, Petrino, Miles, Richt, Nutt, Malzahn (the real brains behind the operation on the Plains), the Artist Formerly Known as Spurrier, and Leach? I was originally thinking this morning that Tommy Tuberville has to be kicking himself because he would have been a perfect fit in Knoxville, but now, I'm fixated on the coach whom Tommy is replacing.

Speaking of the coaching musical chairs this offseason and in an effort to expand from neverending World War Two analogies, does this offseason remind anyone else of Paris 1919? Old empires breaking apart, opening opportunities for smaller countries that are finally getting out from under the boot? No? Oh come on, just play along. The Pac Ten hegemon has lost its coach, replaced him with a buffoon, and has the NCAA knocking at its door, looking for reparations. The SEC hegemon lost its coach, then the coach came back, only we're not sure if the coach is going to be on the sidelines next fall. The teams that are third in the pecking orders of the Big XII and Big East had to fire their coaches for being abusive to their players. Georgia is thrashing about wildly in search for a defensive coordinator. Tennessee is now without a coach and its students are taking to the streets. For the first time in decades, Florida State (the Ottoman Empire of the aughts) has a new coach. Upheaval doesn't even begin to describe what's happening right now. G-d, I love college football.

Six Reasons Why I'm Happy That the Yankees Won Last Night

Also known as the post that I never thought I would write.

For the record, I hate the Yankees as much as any self-respecting Southerner. That said, I found myself in the unique position of not rooting against them last night. I'm still coming to grips with this new feeling, so an explanation is in order:

1. The Yankees achieved nothing other than successfully exercise raw economic power. Honestly, how much of a baseball achievement is it to pay more money than any other team for the three biggest free agents on the market in a winter in which there were three big free agents on the market? It must have taken some real skill for the Yankees to figure out that C.C. Sabathia and Mark Teixeira are good players. And lo and behold, who were the Yankees' heroes in the post-season? Burnett (at least in game two), A-Rod, Johnny Damon, and Hideki Matsui. Mercenaries, all of them. Oh, and let's not forget about the Jeter/Posada/Pettite/Rivera core, who do prove that the Yankees are about more than just offering more money than anyone else in baseball...or at least they were over a decade ago. The Yankees winning is a nice reminder of how baseball actually works, and for that I'm happy.

2. I found the idea of the Phillies repeating to be distasteful. I have nothing against this Philadelphia team, other than the fact that they represent Philadelphia. There's nothing aversive about Utley, Rollins, Howard, Lee, or Hamels. However, I have this gnawing notion that a team that repeats as a champion ought to be a great team. No college football team has repeated since 1994-95 Nebraska. No college basketball team has repeated since 1991-92 Duke. No NFL team has repeated since the 2003-04 Patriots. No NBA team has repeated since the 2000-02 Lakers. No baseball team has repeated since the 1998-2000 Yankees. All of those teams were great. Does this Phillies team fit that bill? A team that won 92 and 93 games in a relatively weak league? (And before 2008, the Phillies had not won 90 games in a season since 1993.) There's nothing awe-inspiring about this Philadelphia team, so my sense of order in the universe has been confirmed by them not winning the title.

[Edit: a helpful commenter pointed out that I forgot that Florida repeated as national champions in college basketball two years ago. I'm comfortable labeling that Florida team as great. I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I complained at the time that Florida would have been viewed as an all-time great team if they were North Carolina or UCLA and now I've forgotten that they repeated. Another commenter has pointed out that I glossed over USC's back-to-back titles in football. I could make the "they didn't win consecutive crystal balls" argument, but I don't really believe that. If you are #1 in the AP poll at the end of the year, you're a national champion, just like you are if you win the BCS trophy. USC and LSU were both champs in 2003. I should refrain from making statements without thinking about them.]

3. It shows that numerous figures in the media were idiots for the "A-Rod is a choker" meme. I have to admit that I'm happy for Alex Rodriguez. One of the dumbest labels in sports is the "he doesn't respond to pressure" tag. The tag is inevitably applied based on a small sample size and selective use of evidence. It assumes that someone who is better than 99.9% of the population at a particular sport suddenly loses the ability to handle performance anxiety. Most importantly, the people who apply it never get that their binary clutch/unclutch worldview is flawed, so when an athlete or coach shatters their perception, they don't admit that they were wrong. Rather, they just move on to the next person to label unfairly.

Bill Simmons, make my point for me:

More than a few Colts fans thanked me during signings this week for "coming around on Peyton" or "finally appreciating Peyton." As if I had been irrationally biased against him this entire time. Look, you can't tell me Manning didn't reinvent himself to some degree in 2008 and 2009. I always thought he was the A-Rod of football: great when it didn't matter, sketchy when it did. You may disagree. But that's how I felt. This season, he has reached "I will never, ever, EVER bet against that guy in a night game" status. Which is saying something. He owns that team. Owns it.

HE'S THE SAME GUY YOU RIPPED AS A CHOKER FOR YEARS!!! It's not like Manning got some sort of personality transplant and he can suddenly respond to pressure whereas before, he wilted. He's the same guy who led his team from behind on a number of occasions in college and the pros, only now, he's not being judged based on a small sample size of road playoff games against a defensive genius at the top of his game deploying excellent personnel. Simmons' refusal to admit that he was wrong illustrates perfectly why clutch/unclutch analysts keep on making the same mistake. So yay for A-Rod (a player who had 1,000+ OPSs in the 2000 and 2004 postseasons) for winning a title and getting a collection of misguided critics off his back. I'm anxiously looking forward to the next highly conditioned, incredibly successful athlete who is going to be portrayed as the Scarecrow.

And before I finish with Simmons, note that he deployed the "that's how I felt" crutch, which is a surefire way to know that someone is wrong because they are substituting their feelings for an actual argument. He's like the opponents of gay marriage who defend their position with the "I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman" claim. That's not an argument; it's a statement of feeling. I don't care what you believe; tell me why you're right...or maybe you can't.

4. Speaking of Simmons, the obnoxiousness of the Red Sox Nation phenomenon has softened my dislike of the Yankees. If nothing else, Boston's emergence as a Yankees-lite franchise has reduced the Yankees' role as an evil hegemon in baseball. (To Simmons' credit, he has acknowledged the Yankees-lite point on a number of occasions.)

5. The Phillies' loss probably annoys Buzz Bissinger. Also, the Yankees winning makes Mets fans even more miserable. Schadenfreude!

6. The Series didn't go seven games, so we won't be subjected to an endless barrage of "what a classic!" myth-making that occurs like clockwork when baseball teams from the Northeast are involved.

Random Thoughts Before the Weekend

I never liked Miami growing up (except during the Catholics vs. Convicts games), but I find this Miami team quite rootable for two reasons. First, I have liked Randy Shannon ever since the SI's excellent piece on his background. Second, after a half a decade of atrocious quarterback play in the ACC, I'm going to support a team with a good signal caller and a good offensive coordinator. As long as I can ignore ESPN's shots panning the crowd at Miami home games, I can support the Canes.

I don't have much of a feel for the Georgia-Arkansas game. On the one hand, I was very high on Arkansas going into the season. South Carolina threw the ball successfully on Georgia, so you would think that Bobby Petrino would be able to get Arkansas to do the same, especially with two weeks to prepare for what ought to be a statement game for the Razorbacks. On the other hand, Georgia's offensive line should win its match-up with the Arkansas defensive front, which will mean that Richard Samuel will have holes and Joe Cox will have time to throw. In the end, it's hard to see Mark Richt losing two road games in a row. If Georgia loses this game, then there will be some significant questions about where this team is.

The Michigan board that I visit has been obsessed this week with the dilemma of picking a rooting interest between Michigan State and Notre Dame, a classic meteor game for Michigan fans. Personally, I'm agnostic on the question. I don't really care whether the Nazis or the Communists prevail, so long as they slaughter millions of one another's troops and thus make it easy for my team to occupy Western Europe. I'm not above rooting for an arch-rival in the right circumstances - I rooted for Ohio State against Notre Dame with gusto in the 2006 Fiesta Bowl because of my annoyance with the Charlie Weis love-in - but I can't come up with a reason to root for either of these teams. Maybe I pull for the Irish because I don't want them to fire Charlie Weis and hire Brian Kelly? Maybe I pull for the Spartans because the thought of Weis pissing and moaning for another week about Big Ten officials is appetizing? This makes my head hurt.

Speaking of Charlie, he catches a lot of flak for good reasons, but his playcalling at the end of the game last weekend was not that bad. Take it from someone who watched Michigan blow leads on countless occasions because of totally predictable run-run-throw on third and long sequences, Weis was getting risk-reward calculations right by trying to get the first down that would kill off the game. The fly pattern on second down was not a great choice, but the general thrust of throwing the ball in a non-obvious passing situation is a great approach. The meme that Weis botched the end of the game, which has become gospel in the media, is a great example of conventional wisdom being wrong.

The sneakily interesting game of the weekend: Cincinnati at Oregon State.

To be armchair psychologist for a moment, I'm wondering if Urban Meyer's good relationship with Monte Kiffin will cause him to call off the dogs on Tennessee tomorrow. Seriously, a betting person has to get inside of Meyer's head in order to decide whether he is going to put a big number on Tennessee as a comeuppance for Lane or if he is going to bleed the clock in the second half because of his affection for Lane's dad. And speaking of the game formerly known as Florida vs. Tennessee, Chris Brown's analysis of the Tampa Two against the Meyer spread (or, more precisely, Kiffin's modified defense against the Meyer spread) is very interesting:

There is a lot of talk about Kiffin’s “Tampa Two” defense, but I don’t really expect them to play a lot of true “Tampa Two.” In that coverage, the two safeties play deep and show a “cover two shell,” but the middle linebacker retreats down the middle, making it like a three-deep defense, which lets the safeties squeeze the outside corner routes. The advantage of Tampa Two over regular three-deep is that the cornerbacks can press and jam the outside receivers and funnel them inside. (They also can either sit shallow for short throws or retreat if the outside receiver runs deep; this is infuriating too and defenses can switch up this technique.) But the thing the Tampa Two defense does as well as anything is take the other team’s outside receivers — often their best — out of the game. For more, see this fairly informative video from nfl.com.

That’s a great strategy in the NFL because offenses are designed to get the ball to the outside guys. But with Florida? Their strength is inside to out: Tebow, Demps, Rainey, and the tight-end Hernandez. If Kiffin overemphasizes taking away the outside receivers, this plays into Meyer’s hands. Instead, expect Kiffin to do what his protege Tony Dungy did with the Colts more often than people gave him credit for: to go to a single-safety look with one of his safeties in “robber” coverage both spying Tebow and taking away inside routes. Likely Eric Berry will play the “Bob Sanders” position. Kiffin appears to be a big fan of Tebow, but he knows the easiest way to lose to Florida is to get spread out and have them run right up the middle on you; he will test to see if Scott Loeffler, Tebow’s new quarterbacks coach, has taught him anything and, more importantly, if Tebow’s new outside receivers can make enough plays. If they can, it could get ugly.

Big Ten fans, do you see what you're missing because your (our?) cheap-ass schools don't turn their massive sums of ticket and TV revenue into coaches with good resumes? On top of seeing Nick Saban match wits with Urban Meyer with the SEC title on the line last December, SEC fans wills get to see the best defensive coordinator in recent NFL history take a crack at the best college offense currently operating. Think about that in a few weeks as Michigan State and Iowa plough the ball into one another's lines repeatedly.

Branding

So I click on ESPN.com this morning to take a look at the headlines and who was staring back at me but Derek Jeter. The headline story on ESPN was about the Yankees going to the top of the network's power rankings after a big week. To tease the story, ESPN ran a quintessential picture of Jeter giving a fist bump to a teammate, steely eyes of determination fully deployed. Leader Leader Leader!!! The picture struck me a little funny because I saw the highlights of each of the Yankees-Red Sox games over the course of the weekend (they were hard to avoid) and I don't remember Jeter doing much in those highlights. So I took a quick gander at the OPS of the Yankees starting position players over the past week:

Teixeira - 1.241
Posada - 1.196
Damon - 1.160
Swisher - 1.098
Cano - 1.097
Rodriguez - .833
Matsui - .833
Jeter - .433
Cabrera - .425

It must be nice when the Worldwide Leader in Sports brands you as the reason that your team ascended to the top of its baseball rankings following a week in which you went five for thirty with no walks, one extra-base hit, and six strikeouts. Gillette will be so pleased.

I Wish I were Technically Proficient

My kingdom for the ability to insert subtitles to turn this into an awesome Downfall parody where Ronaldo admits that he's a masochist who enjoyed being dominated by Puyol for 90 minutes in Rome. And the cute little sequences with POW-looking children at the end is straight out of the scene where Hitler pins medals on the Hitlerjugend in his last trip outside.

By the way, nice work by Real to trot out their Champions League trophies to remind us who the holders are. Jerry Jones thinks that the presentation was "a little excessive."