This article describing the likely dismissal of charges against Ernie Sims for allegedly attacking his girlfriend in the parking lot of a Florida State dorm was fairly average until this closing flourish:
"Clifton Alexander, the security guard who called TPD, wrote in a letter to the Florida State student newspaper apologizing, if tongue-in-cheek, for his role in inflating the incident.
"'Whenever I see a large man carrying a female across a parking lot as she is screaming 'Stop' and 'Get off me' at 3 a.m., I feel that it is my responsibility to help,' he wrote. 'I'm sure most females at FSU would greatly appreciate any assistance if faced with a similar situation. So again, I am sorry for 'butting in.''"
Something tells me that this quote won't be in the Florida State media guide any time soon. Reading between the lines, you think that this poor guy has gotten a little flak in Tally for arresting the star linebacker? And since when did security guards have such a healthy sense of irony and sarcastic wit?
I'm also amused by the thought that Sims' misfortunes were probably roundly mocked on Miami message boards, even though the Canes' will be starting this solid citizen this year at linebacker. Florida fans? They have every right to make fun of Sims' issues since Channing Crowder is no longer on the team. (Heavy, heavy, heavy tongue in cheek there.)