Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Sports Guy on Fever Pitch

This column reminds me why I like Bill Simmons' writing so much. He's great on pop culture and when he's not lording the success of his teams over the rest of America like some message board loser, he's very perceptive. Anyway, here are my favorite lines:

"The scene when Barrymore says something like, 'There's more to life than knowing that Schilling's pitching on Friday,' and even though they're in a heated argument, Fallon HAS to correct her and say, 'Actually, Pedro's pitching on Friday, Schilling's pitching on Saturday.' I liked that. Any true sports fan wouldn't have been able to fight off the urge to correct her."

This is exactly right. I was reminded of the time early in our relationship when my wife was nice enough to read me the sports section while we were on a long drive and she mispronounced "Glavine" (she pronounced it Glay-vine) and I haughtily corrected her with "It's pronounced Glah-vine. I can't believe you don't know that. He's gonna be a Hall of Famer." This while she was being nice enough to read me the sports section.

"There were dozens of little moments like that, all of them undermining the movie and pushing it toward no-question-about-it 'Chick Flick' status (because only females would accept a movie this inane under the "I'll sit through anything as long as two people are falling in love" corollary)."

I laughed out loud at this line. If my wife wrote the same corollary for me, it would be that I'll accept any movie that involves someone getting impaled or beheaded in a historically significant battle.

"Your boyfriend's friends only get in the way. The sooner you can destroy them, the better."

Every woman's fantasy?

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